perspective

So many things went wrong today, but I just didn't care. Compared to losing my dog, having my parked car get hit by a truck, losing my badge, and getting locked out of a massage room just didn't really matter. It's all a matter of perspective.

learning to laugh

Boyfriend is bringing laughter back into my life. Last night, he was protesting my statement that if he were in Star Wars, he would be C3P0, saying that he would prefer to be a Jedi, illustrating his point by using his electric toothbrush (he was brushing his teeth) as a light saber, and commenting that the toothbrush feature was a recent upgrade.

in vino veritas

A good friend dropped by last night with a bottle of wine. It turns out that it was the last bottle of his wedding wine. Boyfriend and I were extremely touched that he shared this tangible memory of his wife with us.

the old days

One of my goofiest co-workers from Legal has switched over to my team, starting today, increasing our team to four lawyers. I see a lot more pranks in our future.

french laundry

Celebrated my sister's birthday today with lunch at the French Laundry. Some of the best food ever to celebrate the best sister ever.

this

My big prank, and the team cape I won because of the big prank.

time's up

The time came even sooner than expected, but I take comfort in two things. First, it happened when I was there, at the end of a day of sunbathing and love, and there was no vet and no needle around. Second, only the greatest love can leave such a hole where my heart should be, leaving my chest and even my palms aching. Everyone should have love like that.

I love you forever, Fiver. You changed my life (I moved to Switzerland and California because of you) and taught me so much. I miss you like crazy.

my people

My boyfriend is the only reason I'm barely getting through this. He skimps on sleep to go to the vet with me, or to check on me and Fiver. He runs errands and makes suggestions for care, he gives me hugs and makes me food. He covers for me at work and makes difficult phone calls that I can't face. He's going to be the one to pick up the pieces when the time comes.

My sister has a crazy life, with three kids and lots of work, but she still drops everything when I need her.

I don't want to lose my dog, but at least I have my people.

love is love

The outpouring of messages and support I've gotten in the past couple days has been incredible. My world is full of love, and as quickly as my heart empties, it fills up again.

my dog

It hasn't been a good couple of days, but I'm lucky that even in the middle of launch, my coworkers recognize that my dog comes first, so I can be home with him every last minute. I'm lucky to love him and lucky to be loved by him. My world and my life have been so much better with him in it, which I keep trying to remember as I prepare myself to face my world and life without him.